Bring on 6-xy to the 09 !

I intended to spend my countdown in Zirca, the hippest new mega club in town which came in place of the now defunct MOS. (BTW , I did end up there for the rest of the night. And left impressed though hardly in the mood to party.)

The traffic was insane and I ended up spending my final mins and the strike of 12 midnight-2009 in my car queuing up to get into the damn parking.

Seems like a total screw up. At that point I too felt lousy.

But still, I made my little wishes and resolutions for the coming year, alone and in the peaceful confines of my car and away from all the hustle and bustle around me.
I then realised that perhaps, it was a blessing.

I had private time to really reflect on the terrible year it was last year, most notably the passing on of my dog and of course , the pains of a relationship gone sour with no reprieve or resolution. (Still pains like hell, but thats another story said too many times) .

And I wished for things that I won't say here coz it might ended up jinxed?

But what I can say are perhaps the usual. Things I need the most in my life.

Like love, happiness and ambition.

Stains of the past, will forever haunt you.

But I'm looking forward still because that's all there is and all I can hope for.

Happy 2009 everybody.

Q ... Happiness. We all deserve it.

Tumulous 2008

Turning my back to the past?

As I'm typing this in the wee early hours 0f 31st December 2008, I reminicise the past year.

What a roller coaster ride it was. Mostly downwards. So it was indeed frightening and brings many tears of joy and pain.


The first half of the year marked my final semester before I finally graduated from University.

During this time, not only had I to go through my second round of dreaded work attachment, I spent over 3 days spread over a week going for a editorial photoshoot that ended up with my beloved dog, the late Foxxxy Cleopatra , being part of some of the photos. Not only was some of the photos my most beautiful but memorable as well both for the locations and the people I met.

My dog in it, part of, was an unexpected and magical moment in time because so fast was cancer to have taken her life merely 3 months later.

This, another major milestone in my life. Makes me regret the things I should have or should never have done. Makes me respect life and how fragile it is and how every moment is precious and we should treasure it and the things we do with it.

Then , of course, around this time, middle of the year as well, I finally graduated after 4 long amazing years at University. A life time of studying and it finally cumulated to this day in July. The hat and gown was worn and smiles with friends taken. It seems like yesterday that I took my first step into campus life. Wow.

Moving on, on a full scholarship, my job was waiting for me. My first full time job. A shocker. Like being thrown into the deep end of a pool, you learn and struggle with the rites of passage. Learning to adapt. Learning to survive. Learning the politics and friendships alike. The long unforgiving hours. No rests. No free time. Just relentless work.

Then came my relationship. As of this post, its been 5 months. Beautiful and intense. Emotionally draining. Painful to the point where blame no longer matters.
You only think of the sweet romantic moments. And that's what you'll want to remember.

But it is neither over nor on-going thereby explaining the deep seated emotional pain I'm in.

Then mere days ago, I met another. A potentially deeper love. But anyone will know that a deep love means deeper pain.

All means I am either saved, in deeper emotional turmoil which I am or both. Screwed and messed up.

Ironic too, because so many of my couzies got hitched this year. So too was a string of friends' wedding receptions I attended. And my own relationship is in total chaos.

And not to mention, me almost getting arrested at the local airport because I brought in , let's just say, an ornamental weaponry, and its illegal.
Such brushes with the law. Such drama.

Ministry Of Sound (MOS) Singapore , closed its doors. The club I've spent many nights for the past 3 years with friends has finally shut its doors once and for all. Closing with it, a significant chapter of my clubbing life.

Now, as the hols are almost over and the new year hours away from now, I'm left with more pain and memories of the milesstones in my life, graduation, working adult, lost of loved one, love-lost, love-gain, love pain. With doubts for the year ahead.

Pain behind and brought forward.

Yes, I've met some of my dearest friends who've been there beside me in my deepest hours of need. And I thank the lord for their gift of kindness and ear.

Then, one of my closest is literally at strangle point trying to wrench me out of this ditch and I thank her.

I want happiness. And she's right. It's me who determines my happiness and future.

Yes, to everybody and anybody, tracking my journey this past year, thank you for sharing it even if I'm the private type.

Thank you and Happy New year and may happiness be with you and ME.

Q .... God bless us all.

PS: I'm using the tags as a means to pointer-indicate some significant events that have made this year a total hell.

Shoo Bush! ShOE !

A journalist, Zaidi, a reporter with the Al-Baghdadia channel which broadcasts from Cairo, hurled two shoes at President George W. Bush on his farewell visit to Iraq on Sunday, highlighting hostility still felt toward the outgoing US leader who acknowledged that the war is still not won.


*** Comic-strip of the Year ^^:

"YO! Dawg!!!"
"It is the farewell kiss, you dog!"
" Fetch , Bush! Fetch!"
" Awwww.... he missed. Bad boy, Sit!"
" I'm ok ! I'm cool. I get this all the time."


Muntazer al-Zaidi jumped up as Bush held a press conference with Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki, shouted "It is the farewell kiss, you dog" and threw his footwear.

The president lowered his head and the first shoe hit the American and Iraqi flags behind the two leaders. The second was off target.

He was immediately wrestled to the ground by security guards and frog-marched from the room.

Throwing a shoe at someone is considered the ultimate insult in Arab culture.

After Saddam Hussein's statue was toppled in Baghdad in the April 2003 US invasion, many onlookers beat the statue's face with their shoe soles.

Bush laughed off the latest incident.

Yeah, his best Policy so far .... ACT COOL .

Q... LMAO ^^

My Doggy Lies over the Ocean ....

... my doggy lies over the sea...

My dear Bull Terrier, the late Foxxxy Cleopatra. Passed away early this year. A chapter of a beautiful life closed.



Her mannerisms. Her charm.
Dearly missed. And I'd give anything in this world just to sea her one last time.

Meet Genibo, the Robotic Bull Terrier.

The Korean scientists came up with this when Sony axed the Aibo.

Advanced and responsive.


All the perks (almost) and none of the fur , food, bath , poo , sickness and death to deal with.

Still, I'd give anything to have Foxxxy back.

Q ... the attention and love only a living creature could give.

You're a Star to a T

(Star Turtle; the album by Harry Connick Jr.)

Foxxxy's been gone for slightly over a month now ... and my fam's still searching to fill that large vacuole in our lives right now.

Something more to pet and feed.

Not just Caspian the Guinea Pig. (ok, go ahead, laugh.)

So we got two... Indian Star Turtles.

Beautiful and endangered.

Well, they've got a beautiful home now. And are Lucky . Because we'll take great care of them.

Here's a PROMISE!!! :)


Q

>>> What should we call them? ... (watch this space^^.)

She deserves better

It's been Exactly 1 MONTH since Foxxxy's passing.

And there are A**holes out there who are careless, insensitive, sarcastic and ignorant of her unfortunate demise.


Making twisted comments.

Rude & petty imbeciles.

GTH, You F*ckers.

You belong to a Zoo.


>>

"All dogs go to Heaven. And (some) f*ckers will go to hell..."

Q


(>> RIP Foxxxy. Missed dearly.)

Miss Piggy

Since Foxxxy left to be with the Lord, my fam has been searching for that missing thing in our lives right now:


Dearly missed so...

Something to Pet N Feed.

The list of animals we've gone through is so ridiculous (monkeys, rare turtles, snakes, scorpions etc.) I won't even bother to divulge further 'case this blog looses credibility or ,worse, PETA barking down my A**.

So, my brother's been talking about getting something we don't have to walk in the evenings.

A guinea pig.

Well, I suggested that since if we ever got one, it's gonna be special and pretty. LOL

So, how about this : The Peruvian Satin.

So what say you? Blond, Black, Brown or Red-head? :-)

Q


> Bigger question... where to even find one in a Pet store...? Anyone?...

Life after Death

Today, while driving out , at the junction just outside my place, I saw a Puppy.

A puppy with brindle coloring. A white stripe down the middle of it's head.

A personality that shines through even from a far.

A bull terrier.

And I think of Foxxxy which I just lost.

I felt a strange feeling of 'coming full circle'.

Like I finally had a closure. Ready to accept that She's gone. Moved on . And life goes on.

Strangely, I felt a sense of ... recognizing the dog....

Do you believe in 'After life? '

... Really an unexplainable feeling of finally finding peace.

Q

7 Days

She's been gone. She IS GONE.

Life goes on. We cope.

We still grieve. But when the grieving stops, she's still Gone.

So very missed.

R.I.P Foxxxy Cleopatra. ... it's been a Week.

Q

> My fam is beginning to find peace.

Ashes to ashes

... Dust to Dust.

R.I.P Foxxxy Cleopatra.

.... you're back home.

Q

I'd give the World to see Her face again..

The only two songs I'd listen to right now.

When one has lost a dearest, they feel like the whole world is a crumpling. There is this void in my life right now. A sense of purposelessness with out her existence.

I start thinking of all the times we've had and start drawing up a mental list of things I should and could have done and those that I would or should not have.

No matter, the reality is that she's gone. And will never come back.

And all I can do is moan and grieve and beat myself up for all the things I 've said, thought and done but should have not. And all that that I ought to.

No words can describe the deep sorrow I am in right now and because out of respect, this is a must for me to come full circle.

Foxxxy
> From here on, it is a turning point in my life in so many ways, both personally, professionally, socially and spiritually. It's a hard journey that I am unfortunate not being able to have her around.

A New opening chapter for me. And a closing one for her.

I'd give the world to see her face again.

Q

The Need to Grieve

I feel that I have no right to party or be high even if its a means to break the tension and my mind off the misery and grieving.

But I feel a deep sense of responsibility to grieve. Because I see it as the right thing to do.

To show the respect. To show that her lost matters.

I feel that by grieving , it is the only thing I can do to help close this chapter of my life and the Final Chapter of hers.

I do not think I've been a good owner at all and I feel a need to grieve to repent my sins; whatever they were.

Her love was unrequited . And Unconditional.

Was mine ever?

Will never forget the final look she gave; one of yearning and misery .... even loneliness.

Did she know her end was near?

Is it fair that her life and death were in our hands?

I am broken.

And I want to show it because SHE MATTERS.

Q

Foxxxy, my dear, you'll be home soon...

Bye-Bye~ Foxxxy

My best friend, My dog.

Has gone to a better place.

> For all the experiences shared good or bad, all is in the past. All is forgiven. All will be remembered.

Your distinct character, your mannerism, YOU.

R.I.P Foxxxy Cleopatra.

For all the good times we've had over the years, thank Q.

I only wished I was a better owner. I do. I'm heart broken.

BB Pretty Girl.

All Swell is not Well

I'm missing my good ole Foxxxy...(below; happier times)
Foxxxy's head may be big. BUT NOT THIS BIG !!!!

The swelling has made her head nearly twice its original size.

IT'S HUGE!!!! :(

Lymphoma , the Vet says.

Cancer , for everybody else.

"Lymphoma is the most common malignant cancer treated in veterinary oncology. In dogs, the most common presentation for lymphoma is multiple non-painful enlargements of peripheral lymph nodes. It is most common that dogs with lymphoma present without any clinical signs of illness in spite of these enlarged lymph nodes. In most cases lymphoma is thought of as a disseminated disease, where the malignant lymphocytes exist in many tissues through the body."

(It can be remission ed; really??????)

I'm devastated.

Q

2cond that or I won't

My Foxxy has Cancer.

So says the vet.

But that quick? That sudden?

Seeking a second opinion or I'm no Believer.

Deeply affected. :(:::

Q

Mount Pleasant? NOT.

A Vet or any doctor for that matter, should be the epitome of benevolence, kindness and patience.

Not tactlessness, insensitivity and arrogance.

But that's exactly the type of

doctor-Vet I met today.

Cruel. Inflexible. Too much attitude. Stinking arrogant.

So now, she's off my list.


Dr. DENISE blatantly refused medication or a short consultation simply because "we had not made an appointment."

And went attitude-diva on us.

Since when did suffering, sickness and death... needed an Appointment?

(What as A** wipe of a Vet...)

And I'm going to spread the word how such a person exist. And how pet owners everywhere should be ....

..... AVOID . BOYCOTT.

Mount Pleasant?

Think UN-Pleasant. :-<

Q

Worrying

My Dawg is sick.

Very sick.

She won't eat.

She's swelling in the stomach and intestines.

Her lymph nodes have been huge for weeks now.

That stoooopid f*cking Vet said it's ok. It's alright. It's Normal.

Just got a second opinion and questions have been raised. Alarms ringing.

Too terrible to write here for fear of jinxing. (Bawl!)

If anything happens to dearie.

I'll sue his ass off. #$%^&*(*&#$!!!!

Q...I Pray.

Cow Dawg

Today I was out for yet another out-door shoot.

The location was amazing. The female model, Sherri, is gorgeous and for once, a model who isn't messed up or having 'an Attitute'. Cool.

*Am so havving the hots right now... haha. :P

Anyway, my dawg , Foxxy came along. She's the cutest!!!
Pics up once I get them! haha

Did manage a sneek peek at the shots and I'm excited.

Stay tuned. A:-D

Q

K9 Koncerns

Awww, FoxXxy, behave ! (This's what you get when you crossbreed Shrek and Donkey)

There's this huge debate recently all over the media and public about inconsiderate owners who unleash their pooches every where forgetting that there's still quite a significant proportion of the Human race that has yet to warm up to these furry frens.

Lemme suggest to all those dog owners out there (which includes yours-truly), if you think your dog is friendly, fine with that. But there are also unfriendly human beings lurking about.


So leash your poodle anyway.

Take it as if it's a protection for your dog, rather, from these nazzzty Humans.

And if you happen to be a cafe owner reading this, lemme me share with you a suggestion-tip:

Like you do with a Smoking Section, have a DOG SECTION somewhere too.

Okay??? :)
Now you heard it here first.

Victoria's Doggy Secret

Was having dinner in front of the TV ... I know... no life. LOL

Switched to Channel 5 ... And the network was playing
The High School Musical~ Concert.

C'mon man ! That sh*t should go to straight to Nickelodeon or something!

I mean, it's like, does the general population LOOK like they are stuck in pre-pubescence or something?

Saccharine sweet, overly idealistic, starry-eyed, the idolizing of some school-hunk/belle 'til the knees go weak.... cheer leader-meets-jock puppy love rubbish... whateva to spoil Prime Time television.

So suffice to say, I went machine-gun on the remote-control.

Well, turned up THIS Show here,

'It's me or The Dog~ with Victoria' caught my attention.

Can't help it, here is a nutcase who's really into documentaries ... and dawgs
:-P

It's kinda like 'The Nanny' but dealing with our furry best friends.

And I am smitten.

Victoria's got the talent with dog-training, I tell ya. Absolute genius. Totally professonal.

She's a good looker but that's not what comes across as distracting. Rather it's what she does on the show which is seriously impressive.

She know's her stuff. Her expertise is unquestionable.

Here is not someone who's on TV because of looks.

A real deal. A real show stopper .


So note this down and stick it on the fridge:
Central, 9 pm every Wed, 'It's me or the Dog'